Sandwiched Between A Bickering Couple

, , | Right | November 2, 2020

I am a flight attendant. I am serving passengers during our meal service, which is an additional fee. An old couple is sitting on each side of the aisle; the lady asks me for a coffee.

Wife: “Ask my husband what sandwich he wants.”

I turn to the husband.

Me: “Sir, your wife wants to know which sandwich you would like?”

The husband looks at me and doesn’t react, so I raise my voice and ask the question again.

Husband: “No, no, not hungry.”

I turn back to the wife.

Me: “He doesn’t want anything, madam.”

Wife: “He is diabetic; he needs to eat something!”

I turn again to the husband and show him the menu.

Me: “Sir, your wife insists you should eat something. Here is the list of sandwiches we have available today.”

Once again, the husband refuses. I tell the lady, who asks me to insist. This goes on for five more minutes, where I go back and forth between the two of them with the husband becoming more and more annoyed at his wife, refusing any option I offer.

I finally give up.

Me: “Madam, I cannot force him to eat, but I can sell you a sandwich, and once he gets hungry you can give it to him.”

Wife: “No, thank you, because if he doesn’t eat it, it’ll go to waste.”

As I’m not the type to force a sale just for the sake of it, I give her the coffee and continue my service. Not five minutes later, as I am back in the galley, my cabin manager runs to me.

Cabin Manager: “[My Name], this old gentleman is feeling unwell! His wife told me he is diabetic and hasn’t eaten anything all day! Give me something for him to eat right now!”

I grab a sandwich.

Me: “Is it by any chance the gentleman in question in row twelve?”

Cabin Manager: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Don’t worry about it… Here’s a sandwich for him.”

Listen to your spouse! They’ve been dealing with you for half their life; they know your needs!

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When You Marry A Toddler

, , , | Romantic | November 1, 2020

When my husband is upset, he doesn’t think logically. I turn the TV off by pressing the power button instead of using the remote, mainly because the remote has been playing up and it has to be held at an exact angle to work. The next day, the remote will not turn the TV on at all.

My husband starts yelling at me.

Husband: “THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU BROKE THE CONNECTION TO THE TV BECAUSE YOU USED THE POWER BUTTON TO TURN IT OFF!”

Me: “We probably need a new remote.”

I walk over to the TV.

My husband starts tapping on the remote power button over and over, whining and yelling.

Husband: “THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED AND I WANT TO WATCH TV NOW. HOW AM I GOING TO WATCH TV? I CAN’T TURN IT ON.”

Me: “Can you actually hear yourself? You are worse than a two-year-old.”

Husband: *Pouting* “I just want to watch TV. How am I going to do that?”

I press the power button on the TV and it turns on. He starts mashing on the channel buttons and whining that they aren’t working, either. I open a flap on the TV and use the channel buttons to choose the right channel. He settles down as I am leaving the room.

Husband: “Oh… What if I need to change channels?”

Me: “You have legs.”

Did I mention that he works IT for a large telco? He is always complaining that most of the faults he deals with are because users have forgotten to turn their monitors on.

He didn’t want to waste money on a new remote. A couple of weeks later, I was away for the weekend and came home to find him watching a huge flatscreen.

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The Glitter Is Golden Years

, , , , , | Right | October 22, 2020

It’s Tuesday. I’m ordering in my department and an older woman approaches me.

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes! Can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for glitter.”

Me: “Oh, sure! I can show you which aisle that’s in!”

The aisle with the glitter isn’t far from where I’m ordering, and our company policy is to show customers to the items they ask for most of the time, so I walk her to the aisle.

Me: “Glitter is right in this aisle!”

I gesture, and the customer thanks me profusely. I head back to where I was when she first approached me and continue my order. Another customer passes me and I greet her, and then the older lady from before catches my attention.

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Did you need some more help?”

Customer: “Yes! I’m legally blind, and I’ve lost my husband! He’s tall with white hair, and his name is [Husband].”

Me: “Well, I’ll see if I can find him! Otherwise, I could always page him for you.”

Customer: “Oh, page him! What a good idea! You’re wonderful!”

Me: “I’ll see if I find him, or I’ll have someone page him for you.”

I walk away to head to a phone, but I take a quick little detour through a couple of nearby aisles, just in case her husband is down one of them. As I round a corner, I see a man matching his description a few aisles down.

Me: “Are you looking for your wife? Are you [Husband]? She’s over this way!”

The husband smiles a little at me, looking relieved, and follows me to the aisle where I’ve left his wife browsing.

Me: “I found him! Didn’t even have to page him!”

Customer: “Oh, there you are! Look, I found these! She helped me!”

They both thanked me, and I smiled and assured them it was no problem and went back to my department. I saw the couple a few minutes later, holding hands. Part of me wishes I would have stayed with her a little longer and helped her find the colors she needed, but she seemed to have it handled when I left her the first time.


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

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Isn’t It Usually The Other Way Around?

, , , , | Related | October 7, 2020

We recently got a new puppy, and he’s still in the “learning what is and isn’t a toy” stage. One evening, we are finishing up rewatching a certain magic-themed film series when the dog comes running into the room and paws at my husband’s knee.

Husband: “Whatcha got, buddy? You can’t have socks; we’ve been over this. Wait. Doggy has given Master a sock? Master is freeee!”

And he grabbed one of the puppy’s rope pulls, instead, and ran into the other room, the dog happily bouncing behind all the way.

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Quarantine Must Really Be Getting To Her

, , , , , | Romantic | September 26, 2020

I’m in the living room on my computer and my wife is asleep in the bedroom. She talks in her sleep a lot.

I hear her mumbling.

Me: “Honey?”

Wife: “How long?”

Me: “How long what?”

Wife: *Impatiently* “How long do I have to be in the hamster ball?”

Me: *Laughing* “You’re not in a hamster ball.”

Wife: “BUT HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO BE IN THE HAMSTER BALL?!”

Me: “You’re asleep, honey. You’re fine.”

Wife: *Sounding offended* “I am NOT.”

Me: “I promise, you are.”

Wife: “I’m not asleep! I’M IN A HAMSTER BALL!”

She began snoring immediately. I woke her up for real a few minutes later because I was laughing so hard.

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