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It’s Gonna Be A Looooong Year

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: TestUserHanzyBaby | January 1, 2021

It’s New Year’s and we’re kicking out customers after a manic event — it’s 6:30 am by this point — where the club reached capacity, approximately 4000 people. We’re all exhausted and quite frankly looking forward to our staff party after work for working New Year and New Year’s Day, so we’re trying to get everyone out quickly so I’ve been asked to help in the cloakroom.

Customer: “I’ve lost my ticket. Can you look for my coat for me?”

The majority of the customers still need to leave; she’s one of the first I serve.

Me: “Sorry, but I’m afraid it’s club policy that if you’ve lost your ticket you have to wait till the end for us to find your coat.”

Customer: “It’s not f****** difficult. I’ll tell you what it looks like and you can get it.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but as I said before, I can’t get your coat until the end unless you have a ticket.”

Customer: “Listen here, you f****** b****. Just look for my f****** coat. It’s black.”

Me: “There are about 2000 black coats back there. I’m not looking for yours until the end or until you have the ticket.”

Customer: “Why the f*** not?”

Me: “Firstly, I’m not allowed to. Secondly, that’s the biggest waste of time.”

Customer: “F*** you, you little c***. You’re going to find me my f****** coat.”

She continues to shout and call me names for about five minutes before I can say anything.

Me: “I’m not finding your coat. Now go to the back of the line and wait.”

Customer: “I have f****** work at nine o’clock; I don’t have time to be waiting around.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you should have thought of that before you decided to go clubbing until six in the morning.”

Customer: “Stupid b****, get me your f****** manager.”

Me: “I can tell you now that she will tell you exactly the same.”

The manager had observed this whole incident and went to speak to her. The customer continued to swear and called me and the manager a bunch of obscene names. This went on for about ten minutes until the manager told her, quite forcefully, that if she was not going to wait, she could go home and call back when she was sober. The customer sulked off to the back of the queue, calling me a b****, etc., under her breath. It took so much for me not to lose my temper with her.

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Just Say It; Don’t Spray It

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: TESTUSER1234 | November 3, 2020

I’m at work at a lumberyard and hardware store.

Customer: “I need some spray cans.”

Me: “Okay, spray cans as in spray paint?”

Customer: “No! Not spray paint! Spray cans!

Me: “I’m sorry, can you be more specific? What kind of spray are you looking for?”

Customer:Come on! Spray cans! They are cans that have lots of different colors.”

Me: “Okay, so spray paint.”

Customer: *Angrily* “NO! Spray cans!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just show you what I think you want.”

I bring him over to the spray paint aisle.

Customer: “Yeah, this is what I want!”

He grabbed several cans of spray paint.

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I… M… D… E… A… D…

, , , , , | Working | November 3, 2020

My aunt is handling my grandfather’s affairs after he passed away. Most of it goes smoothly except when she tries to close one of his accounts. They always say that they need to speak to the account holder to close the account. She sends in a copy of the death certificate and they still can’t comprehend that he is dead!

Finally, after several months of this, she’s had enough. 

Rep: “We’ll need to speak to the account holder. “

Aunt: “Then get a Ouija board!”

Rep: *Long pause* “Pardon?”

Aunt: “He’s dead! So if you really need to talk to him, get a Ouija board.”

Rep: “Uh… I’ll just close this out for you.”

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Got You Working Down To The Wire

, , , | Right | November 3, 2020

I work at a well-known home and hardware store with extended trading hours. Obviously, we don’t have the full team on at seven am as we do at, say, ten am. I am working at the checkout.

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

The customer ignores me and slams down a piece of electrical wire he had cut.

Customer: “Just this.”

Me: “Now, did anyone cut this for you, so I can look it up in the system?”

Customer: “No, I just cut it myself.”

Me: “That’s fine. Next time, just try to get someone to cut it for you as it can be a little difficult to find on our system up the front and I don’t want you to wait longer than you need to.”

Customer: “NO! I waited around for fifteen minutes and no one helped me. You should have people running up and down the aisles to serve me. There was no one there!”

Me: “Sorry about that. We have a big blue desk in the middle of the back section of the store. There’s generally always someone there to help.”

Customer: “Why should I have to do that? That’s what you guys are paid for!”

It must have been unknown knowledge to him, but my colleagues actually have stuff to do in the morning when it is quiet; they can’t just meander around waiting for a customer! Furthermore, we had only been open for about fifteen minutes and it would have taken him at least five minutes to put through the rest of his order.

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We Think Their Problems May Start At The Top

, , , , , | Working | November 3, 2020

I go to lunch with my boyfriend and my best friend. We decide to go to a chain sit-down restaurant that is fairly mediocre but within our price range.

We are seated outside, which is fine as it is a nice day. However, there is only one outdoor waitress, and it seems she has several tables inside, as well, so she takes quite a while to get to us. We assure her we are in no rush and place our orders.

The appetizer comes out twenty minutes later, lukewarm and stale. Despite the fact that we’re hungry, they are so unappetizing we leave them untouched except for the initial taste test.

When the first of the entrees arrives, my friend digs in. She takes about two bites and stops. She pulls a piece of plastic from her mouth, which must have come from something in the kitchen, as it was baked into the pizza itself.

We wait another fifteen minutes before the waitress returns with the other entrees. When we show her the plastic, she is suspicious at first, because plenty of people try to scam. Once she sees the piece, clearly warped from being baked, she is apologetic and asks if my friend wants a replacement. My friend declines as she doesn’t want to wait another thirty minutes.

My boyfriend and I start to eat and find that this food is cold and tastes insanely over-salted. When the waitress stops by to refresh our drinks — thankfully fairly quickly — we tell her about the issue. She apologizes profusely and assures us that she will take it off the bill, unless we would rather exchange it for another item.

At this point, the manager comes over, looking annoyed that the waitress had been taking so long.

Manager: “Is there a problem, folks?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but my friend had a piece of plastic in her pizza, and both my and my boyfriend’s meals are kind of cold and really salty for some reason. If it’s possible, can we just cancel our order? This is not really edible for me, and we don’t want to take up any more time here.”

The manager looks at the waitress for an explanation.

Waitress: “I don’t know why that is. As soon as the cooks gave me the food, I brought it out, so something must have gone wrong in the kitchen.”

She is sincere and clearly frustrated, as this not only costs her time with her other tables, but by the looks of the manager, will get her in trouble despite her explanation.

Friend: “I’m sorry, but can we just have the check?”

The manager tells the waitress he will handle this. My friends and I are fairly young, and it seems he thinks we are trying to get free food. He returns with the bill a moment later and stands directly next to the table, waiting for us to pay.

We look at the bill.

Friend: “Excuse me, but my pizza is still on here.”

Manager: “Yes, well, you ate it.”

Friend: “No, I didn’t! There was a piece of plastic in it, anyway, which definitely shouldn’t be in a pizza.”

Me: “Sir, it seems we were charged for drink refills, as well. I thought that was only for specialty drinks, and that iced tea and water were unlimited refills. And both of our entrees are listed as dinner specials when we ordered a la carte, and we didn’t eat them anyway.”

The manager glares at us.

Manager: “Just pay and get out! You’ve wasted food and clearly just want to be cheap when you don’t want to pay a bill.”

My friends and I look at each other in disbelief. I stand and put $10 on the table, more than enough to cover a drink and my portion of the appetizer. My friend and boyfriend do the same.

Me: “Sir, the food was inedible, and we waited for almost an hour before it even arrived.”

The manager snatches up the money and disappears back inside the restaurant.

Waitress: “I’m really sorry.”

Me: “It’s okay, I guess. I mean, we didn’t get to eat, but we know that’s not your fault.”

We gave her a $10 tip and left to go get food elsewhere.

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